{"id":1272,"date":"2025-02-03T10:49:27","date_gmt":"2025-02-03T15:49:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/equinox-hotels.com\/nyc\/?p=1272"},"modified":"2025-12-04T08:59:18","modified_gmt":"2025-12-04T13:59:18","slug":"sleep-sex-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/equinox-hotels.com\/nyc\/blog\/sleep-sex-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"SLEEP, SEX + RELATIONSHIPS"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Sex and Sleep: Perfect Bedfellows?<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
By Dr. Matthew Walker\r\n<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t
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What if the key to a thriving relationship isn\u2019t found in the bedroom\u2014but in the bed itself? Could better sleep unlock better sex, deeper emotional intimacy, and greater pleasure? And if great sleep leads to great sex, could great sex bring you even deeper sleep?<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s start by exploring the concept of sleeping together versus sleeping apart, or what some call a \u201csleep divorce\u201d, though I prefer the alternative phrase of, a new sleep alliance.<\/p>\n

The Case for a Sleep Divorce<\/em><\/p>\n

A survey conducted by the Sleep Council in England found that one in four people in a relationship leave their shared bed to sleep on a sofa or in a spare room to ensure they get a good night\u2019s rest. Similarly, the National Sleep Foundation in the United States discovered that 25% of couples admit to sleeping in separate beds. These numbers might even underestimate the practice.<\/p>\n

Why? Forty-five percent of couples are too ashamed to admit they sleep apart, according to further surveys. More recent data suggest that up to 30\u201340% of couples now sleep separately.<\/p>\n

One reason for this reluctance to acknowledge separate sleeping arrangements is the stigma surrounding the idea. Many people mistakenly assume that if a couple isn\u2019t sleeping together, they\u2019re also not being intimate. But the science paints a different picture.<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/section>\n\n\n

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“Getting quality sleep isn\u2019t just about feeling rested-it has profound effects on your relationship\u201d<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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“Lack of sleep significantly impacts reproductive health\u201d<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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“Just as sleep can enhance intimacy, sex can improve sleep\u201d<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Why Sharing a Bed Impacts Sleep<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t
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Research shows that sharing a bed often leads to worse sleep. For example:<\/p>\n

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  1. When one partner moves during the night, there\u2019s a 50% chance the other partner will wake up or experience fragmented sleep.<\/li>\n
  2. Objective measurements, such as those from sleep trackers or laboratory studies, consistently show that individuals sleep better alone than with a partner.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Despite these findings, couples frequently report that they feel more satisfied with their sleep when they share a bed. This could be due to societal expectations or a genuine sense of connection. Either way, the evidence is clear: sleeping apart often results in better-quality sleep.<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/section>\n\n\n

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    A New Perspective: The Sleep Alliance<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t
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    While the term \u201csleep divorce\u201d is commonly used, Dr. Wendy Troxel, a leading expert in the field, suggests a more positive term: a \u201cnew sleep alliance.\u201d Whatever you call it, more couples are embracing this strategy for better rest.<\/p>\n

    It\u2019s important to note that this approach isn\u2019t for everyone. Many couples enjoy the comfort, safety, and routine of sleeping together. Saying goodnight and waking up next to each other can strengthen emotional bonds.<\/p>\n

    But if you or your partner are consistently struggling with poor sleep due to shared sleeping arrangements, it might be worth experimenting with sleeping apart. Here\u2019s how:<\/p>\n

    Four Steps to Explore a Sleep Divorce<\/em><\/p>\n

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    1. Know Your Needs:\u00a0Be honest with yourself about what you require for restful sleep.<\/li>\n
    2. Communicate with Your Partner:\u00a0Have an open, gentle conversation about your needs. Avoid being defensive or accusatory.<\/li>\n
    3. Experiment Temporarily:\u00a0Suggest trying a new arrangement for a few weeks to see if it works. If it doesn\u2019t, you can always return to co-sleeping.<\/li>\n
    4. Maintain Intimacy:\u00a0Even if you sleep apart, prioritize bedtime and morning rituals. For example: text your partner when you\u2019re ready for bed to share a goodnight kiss or cuddle, or in the morning, invite your partner into your room for a warm embrace to start the day.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      By taking these steps, you can enjoy the benefits of sleeping apart while preserving your emotional and physical connection.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/section>\n\n\n\n\n

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